Sure, the spotlight may be on your wife while she’s pregnant with your baby, but remember that it takes two to tango. You might feel lost and want to leave everything up to her, but don’t forget that you’re equally responsible for her pregnancy, and remember that she might be feeling just as lost as you are, especially if it’s her first time.
Don’t let her do all the hard work while you just watch anxiously from the sides. She might be feeling sensitive, scared, or lonely. Just be there for her. There is nothing more comforting than knowing that her partner has her back every step of the way.
So, what can soon-to-be dads do when their partner is expecting?
1. Show interest and be involved
From the moment the pregnancy test comes back positive, you need involve yourself in the journey. After the initial shock and euphoria, it’s time to read up on pregnancy books and advice, accompany your partner to the gynaecologist for her appointments, attend classes on how to take care of a baby, and so on and so forth.
Don’t let your partner shoulder the burden of taking care of her child alone. You need to be on the same channel as she is and make sure that she doesn’t feel abandoned. For the next nine months, everything is mostly going to be revolving around her and her needs, so let her feel safe, secure, and comfortable whenever she’s with you. Be the person she turns to every time she needs support and encouragement.
2. Be a good listener
The discomfort is real, and so are the hormonal imbalances that may cause her sudden mood changes. When she complains to you about her body aching or cries to you about her insecurities, always be there for her with a patient, listening ear and a warm, loving hug. Let her know that she can tell you anything at any time.
If she’s worried about a problem, offer to talk it out with her. Put in your two cents about the issue. Discuss. Maybe she’s worried about being a bad parent, or she’s concerned about the pain she’s feeling being abnormal. Maybe you have your worries too. Share them with her, and always work it out together. It’s extremely important to build and maintain a clear communication between you both.
Seek advice from your gynaecologist if needed, but never belittle or downplay on her emotions and feelings when she bares all to you, even if you think it’s just over a trivial matter.
3. Let her know that it’s okay to feel down
Pregnancy hormones do a lot to the body other than just causing a rollercoaster of emotions. Your partner is going to experience cramps, nausea, fatigue, increased need to pee constantly, weight gain, constant hunger, and the all-so-famous weird food cravings. All these pregnancy side effects may cause your partner to feel self-conscious about herself and her body, so don’t be too surprised if she asks you if she looks fat or unattractive to you.
No, she’s not fishing for compliments. She is genuinely worried if your feelings towards her are going to change. Get her the chocolate ice cream whenever she craves it, give her your full attention whenever she wants, and shower her with compliments whenever she needs to hear them. Loving cuddles and hugs always work the best to cheer her up!
4. Do things without her having to tell you
Make the bed. Do the laundry. Wash the dishes. Vacuum the floor. It’s the simple things you do at home that shows how much you care for her. If you’re not used to doing chores around the house (or if your partner doesn’t trust you with a mop and pail), try discussing with her about hiring some temporary help around the house. Or if you don’t have the budget for it, perhaps now is the best time to start honing on your cooking and cleaning skills.
It’s important that an expecting mother stays relaxed instead of getting stressed up during her pregnancy. Too much stress may be harmful to her and the baby. It’s not worth endangering her life arguing over why you haven’t taken out the trash or hung up the laundry yet like she asked you to. Be more proactive with the daily chores, let her rest as much as possible, and make sure that you both communicate often enough to avoid temper flares.
5. Prepare for the delivery a few weeks in advance
Usually we always think about the mom needing to pack a hospital bag before her due date. Some mothers might insist on doing it themselves, but dads need to pack one too. Prepare for anything and everything that might happen.
Pack a bag with your own essential items (think toiletries, snacks and some form of entertainment), along with some other ‘bonus’ items for your partner – maybe a few more face towels or her favourite back pillow.
There are many hospital bag lists online that you can customise accordingly. However, you’ll still probably go back and forth for something you might have missed (it happens almost all of the time!). Also, don’t forget to pack some baby clothes and install a car seat for when your baby is finally allowed to come home with you!
The best gift for your loved one
If you’re thinking about getting the best gift for your partner, we recommend the 28-Day Confinement Healing Soup for the healthiest and speediest recovery for your loved one.
Made with 100% natural Chinese herbs, the 28-Day Confinement Healing Soup is divided into 4 weeks of recovery. It helps with uterus recovery, improves lochia, reduces water retention, replenishes Qi, energy and blood, strengthens hip, back and legs, increases production of breast milk, improves complexion, and helps with weight loss.
To learn more details about the daily herbal soups and their functions, please refer to the 28-Day Confinement Healing Soup product page.
- 28-Day Confinement Healing SoupRM599.00